I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
