I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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