Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
