wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
