Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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