The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
