your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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