I accidentally had phone sex last night
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
