She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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