All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
