I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
