Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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