nut hugger
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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