but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
