Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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