He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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