you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
