dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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