Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm passing your future prison.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
