You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
