remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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