i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize