I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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