I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
