So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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