i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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