5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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