I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize