i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
