Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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