Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
