So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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