carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
