this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
