I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
