R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize