I hope mine doesn't look like that
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
