How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
