Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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