we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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