I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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