he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
