Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
