Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
