Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
