I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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