I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it hurts more in the daytime
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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