either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
