we have officially lost it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
