they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize