69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
sex in a hospital.. check
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
