my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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