i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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