honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
