dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
