Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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