Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
