i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
barbara walters just said penis...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
