I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
